we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
