I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Houston, we have a squirter
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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