i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
