the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
