I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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