True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
