So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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