I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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