hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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