The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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