Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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