I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to calm my uterus...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
