Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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