if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
