as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
