She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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