My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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