Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
