she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
