I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
