You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
