Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
