I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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