Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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