It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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