guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
