Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
