it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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