first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize