My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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