You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
