Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we're so committed to being not committed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
