I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
