He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just puked most of my soul out..
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