# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
