I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
