Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
