Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
