I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
