I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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