People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
