you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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