i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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