a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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