Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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