Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
