Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
