i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
