Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
