His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
