Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My feet surprised me
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