i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
