Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
