Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
