i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
