I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize