Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
