Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize