I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
