They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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