i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
