i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
