did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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